Council Competency and the East Hill Lift.

I have breakfast every day at the East Hastings Angling Associations club house, where I am as I write this. Out the window I can see the East Hill lift which has not been working for a couple of years.

I have no idea why, I don’t really care about the reason but what this says to me is that if the owners, the council, can’t keep this very public symbol of Hastings going why should we credit them with any competency at all.

Why should we trust their judgement on a whole range of matters from the Jerwood to communal bins?

The answer is we should not.

East Hill Lift that the Local Council can’t be arsed to repair.

East Hill Lift that the Local Council can’t be arsed to repair.

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Tony and his teenage bride Debbie.

I also managed to get an invite to Tony’s (fellow marbles team member) 50th in May. Proving, in Hastings at least, lusting after another man’s wife is no barrier to social success, what a great place this is.

Tony, a few years ago, about to “glass” the photographer.

Tony, a few years ago, about to “glass” the photographer.

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A sporting star!

Yesterday I started out as just mild mannered Steve Hardy photographer and ended up as a member of a winning team at Winkle Island Marbles Championship. This is one of the few sports that seems to encourage substance abuse as my fellow team members all played with pints in hand. It was a hard fought championship displaying high levels of skill, er, okay, no skill at all and no one was really bothered who won but we did end up with a cup. Afterwards the celebrations commenced and I suspect you know what’s coming here, another slow crawl up the West Hill, unusually this time in broad daylight, most of which I don’t remember.

As an aside, participating is more fun than taking pictures but only I could see that as a revelation…

Team member Vic with the trophy

Team member Vic with the trophy

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The flat gets cleaned (all things are relative).

Today I cleaned, well a little bit, the flat. The reason for this, and yes, there has to be a reason, was the visit of the French division of the Webcam Fan Club: Jean-Marie Florin. Many months ago Jean-Marie e-mailed me to say he liked the webcam poking out my window as it reminded him of Hastings where he has been bringing students for many decades. I said he should drop in for a cup of tea next time he was over. I then forgot about the exchange. You can imagine the panic that set in here when he e-mailed to say he would be round at 3.15 on the 7th April. It got so bad that Mr Hoover had to emerge from his cobwebbed hiding place.

He turned out to be a charming retired Deputy Headmaster who managed to hide his health fears when entering the flat very well.

As a hostage to fortune I invited him to come again next year and bring friends; the European dream starts to end here!

Jean-Marie at the hub of the Against the Dark empire.

Jean-Marie at the hub of the Against the Dark empire.

Posted in European Friends | 2 Comments

Jazz at the Angling Club

My loathing of Jazz, though more drama queen than principle, is well known. A jazz concert seems to consist of solo, clap, solo, clap, ad nauseam. It has the visual consistency of seals being thrown fish for tricks. At the Jazz Hastings concerts held at the Hastings Angling Club this is only made bearable for me by the presence of Mrs Donaldson & the Former Future Mrs Hardy, both of which I adore and fear; the FFMH reminding me last night of the UK stalking laws…

Anyway, this time was different (though the seals were still there), the main artist, Gilad Atzmon was fun and made, for me, this formulaic form of music engaging and playful. The drummer was awesome, normally there is only one drummer; Keith Moon (in his Quadraphenia period). This guy has the same effect. The bassist redeemed the genre by sporting a Bruce Springsteen tee-shirt and the pianist tinkled away. Actually the pianist was probably great as well but pianos do nothing for me outside of classical music and Bat Out Of Hell!

So there we have it, the music was enjoyable, the women struck fear in my heart and reality was banished by cider; what a great evening.

Potential member of the E-Street band.

Potential member of the E-Street Band.

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Things that never should happen.

Yesterday started at a funeral for an old school friend and ended with me having enjoyed a jazz concert. Both of these things I never hoped to see. In reality the day ended at around quarter to eleven with your hero, having thoroughly defeated sobriety, laying on his back on the West Hill photographing the moon through clouds; a clue here for all you photographers, a drunk taking 13th second exposures requires the deepest of beer goggles to look even vaguely interesting.

Jocks funeral again brought home to roost some old chickens, as I think funerals often do. Its been dawning on me of late how badly I’ve treated people in my life; for me guilt has always just been a dictionary word and as an emotion up there with the best fairy tales. And with two more pieces of the jigsaw; a capacity to leave, anything, and never look back and a wonderful skill at justifying absolutely everything to myself, the creation of a glorious wake of casual cruelty was inevitable.

Up there with Ansel Adams I think you’ll agree!

Up there with Ansel Adams I think you’ll agree!

Posted in Alcohol, Friends, Revelations, Self Delusion | Leave a comment

Oh no, not twice in one day.

On to Castle Beckington where the scourge badly behaved teen-age daughters seemed to have spread. Whilst not for a moment approving of the dreadful teen-age attitude here I was a little surprised to find the parents completely unaware of that terrible child illness, TDH syndrome (Teenagers Don’t Hoover). I myself contacted this at a very early age and sadly suffer till this day. Most men only recover from this, and then only partially, upon the administering of a “wife”. Tragically it was found that I had a strong allergic reaction to this cure and have had to live with the affliction. It’s a burden I carry with good grace…

And parents, if you think it’s bad now, this is a picture of middle class students away at uni… (picture courtesy of my niece Emily Hardy)

And parents, if you think it’s bad now, this is a picture of middle class students away at uni… (picture courtesy of my niece Emily Hardy)

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Grown men, er…

Today’s outstanding spectacle was the sight of two “grown” men using their iPhones to fart at each other using the “iFart” app, 59p at the iPhone App Store. No, I’m not making this up. One of these men had spent half an hour ranting about the bad behaviour of his teen-age daughter, I thing the words “example” and “bad” could be re-arranged into a useful phrase here. I would name names but one of these reprobates threatened legal action if I so much as mentioned his name, so don’t worry Burls, your secrets safe with me.

The fart machine!

The fart machine!

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Getting ready for Summer.

This past Sunday was spent with Kim Thrower taking pictures of desperately knackered people competing in the Hastings half marathon. To be honest, I may make fun of them, but the sense of achievement they must get at the finish line possibly might be greater than that of building my own computer, no, really. Anyway, after the exertion of watching the runners we retired to Kims beach hut to lounge for a bit. The sun was high – summer was on it’s way and Kim was drinking lemonade, what the…

Kim and Lemonade, a study in the unlikely.

Kim and Lemonade, a study in the unlikely.

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Windows RIP

You want to use Windows as the operating system on your computer? feel free, but please don’t come to me when you get infected with viruses. There is nothing wrong with Windows and I use it for my work but I have come to the conclusion that there is absolutely no way you can prevent getting viruses on your system. I have seen with my own eyes a virus rip through anti virus software and install itself just because a client forgot my dire and pompous warnings about never clicking on attachments in e-mails.

The worse thing is that people have an outdated idea of what viruses do; “if my computer is still working I can’t be infected”, er, no. The whole purpose of modern viruses is not to draw attention to themselves whilst they allow their controllers to sell the use of your computer for, most commonly, sending out spam and attacks on web sites (if tens of thousands of computers all look at the same web site at the same time it can make the site inaccessible)., oh, and while they’re doing that they will be logging every keystroke you make on the keyboard to e-mail to keen Russian gangsters for further analysis and credit card detail extraction!

If you are extremely competent technically and are willing to treat your computer as if it was your enemy you can substantially reduce the risk, if not you don’t have a hope in hell.

Me? the only operating system I’ll put on and get involved with for friends is Linux (The Ubuntu version) and that’s only safe for the moment as there are so few Linux computers out there they don’t bother writing viruses for them.

The other option is gat an Apple MAC, a bit too pricey for my taste but a temporary solution at least.

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